Wednesday, 12 August 2015

When beauty turns ugly

Oddly the ultimate ending of this story didn't surprise me and again was a lesson for me to always trust my instincts.




Twitter can be the most supportive, wonderful & friendly place. It can also be dark, ugly and the meaning and tone of a conversation can be lost in translation.

Last evening I commented how good a blogger was for checking their analytics, as I rarely bother (naughty blogger, but numbers aren't my reason for blogging).
I appreciated their feedback that it motivated them but replied that for me it wasn't my thing and feedback from my followers/subscribers gave me my motivation. Years working in beauty retail, taught me how important people are above commission and daily figures, the trust and respect of a customer is a hard fought battle but a worthy one. 
The reply to my tweet rather took me aback as this blogger pointed out "ah, but you're successful, your number so and so on this index and I'm down at number whatever"! 
Firstly their reply was instantaneous to the point in my opinion of obsessive but worse yet, jealousy (an ugly trait). I let it go with a reply that I didn't follow indexes etc, so it made not one bit of difference and that I didn't think of myself as successful. I have a passion for beauty because I love it and my background is beauty. 
I did comment that if people need figures, stats etc to make them feel they are achieving then that's great but it's not who I am. 
I jokingly thanked them for keeping track of my score.
A few DM messages later, the blogger felt I was having a go - which I can see how comments easily are lost in translation, I assured them that I would tell the blogger straight and all I was doing was stating my view and they were entitled to theirs. The following words 'I don't want to fall out' was an alarm bell I ignored, seriously we are grown adults. 
After some thought I messaged the blogger privately to explain I found their comment regarding my place in this beauty list rather worrying and odd. I would not be unable to tell someone who tweeted out of the blue what their position was on a beauty list instantly. Apparently they were pleased for me as a friend and aspired to be where I was! Again, it could be my misunderstanding but instinct tells me that anyone who starts a comment with 'ah but' is not pleased for you. 
Sadly they felt their initial suspicion that I was having a go was correct and unfollowed me.
We did however wish each other well before delete was activated. 
For me I felt voicing honestly my feelings in private showed the blogger respect, I could have tweeted publicly, and would clear up any feelings of jealousy, competitiveness and misunderstanding. It did not. 
In life we do not always agree with each other but surely we can be adults, open and honest without someone (who states clearly on their blog they will share views to entertain and PROVOKE!) unable to deal with an honest query to their behaviour.
I have often come across opinions that I have not liked and just unfollowed or even blocked people, they are entitled to think as they want but I don't have to read it. In this case I wanted to make the blogger aware that this behaviour involving me had made me very uncomfortable from someone who I had regularly tweeted and retweeted their work. Of course unfollowing was their prerogative.
Of course other tweeters who realised what had happened, informed me the blogger was tweeting about being dragged into negativity, strange how people view situations isn't it?, I felt their jealousy was very negative behaviour.

So my lovelies, the moral of this story, be careful and clear what you tweet, remember it doesn't always read as intended, trust your instincts and never be afraid to speak up. Some people are transient in your life, it's the way of the world. 
I take equal responsibility, maybe I could have worded my thoughts differently but they were honest & how I feel - it's not for me to judge but it is for me to have an opinion.



*any resemblance to persons living or dead is intended (because it's about me), no affiliate links,  grasping for freebies, samples, sponsorship, or offence intended.
(my humour doesn't always travel well either)
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